Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Meet Gary! Music Information Specialist!

The next person I would like to introduce you to is Gary Sause! Music Information Specialist!
What is your official title for my campaign?
Ceep Clarendon Cool

What are three websites you check everyday and why?
Facebook (for scrabulous)
Craig's List (for musical equipment and other postings)
Wikipedia (for various information purposes)

Do you like paper shredders and why?
I don't really care for paper shredders, because they are too noisy.But if the Mayor likes them, then I like them, and fuck the noise.

What is your favorite tv show and why?
The Simpsons - because the show relaxes me.It's not always funny, but it is like the comfort food of television for me.

What is your favorite amusement park and why?
Action Park - because they have water slides, tubing, and go carts!

What color pen do you prefer to use and why?
Red, because it is sacred, and evil, and it means you're wrong.

Do you like ketchup?
I like ketchup, but I hate catsup.

Why do you think restaurants put pickles on plates?
Because putting them somewhere else can be uncomfortable.

If you had the chance, would you go to Mars (feel free to elaborate)?
I would not go to mars for several reasons:

1.It's too expensive to travel to mars these days; in my day it only cost sixpence.

2. You're much heavier on Mars, and since I'm already 315 lbs, that wouldn't be good for my self esteem. Oh wait, I just found out I'd weigh about 118 lbs on Mars, so that is a stupid reason, and I'm stupid for not knowing that.

3. Space travel isn't safe, and although I'd like to "do it" in a weightless atmosphere, you can't just stop the ship and get out and pee or barf or other if you need to. I'm not into sticking a tube up my ass when I have to go number 2, despite what others have told you.

4. Mars doesn't have any major bodies of water, so, no water sports, and although I don't engage in any water sports, I like having the option to do so.

5. Mars is motherfuckin cold sometimes, like -67 degrees F. Other times, it's 80F on the sunny part of the planet....so I'm not sure how I feel about that.

6. They don't have a Taco Bell on mars.

7. I would go if Scarlett Johannsen were going, but we would have to have a contract where we get to do it in one big space suit, or some other kind of big space sleeping bag, and she would have to pretend that she was really into me.

8. Showering would be a problem, and I like to keep clean, even if I have a dirty mind.

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